My friends and I made a short list which we plan to turn into a movie (kind of like "He's just not that into you"). This list was created to help men who are rough around the edges, rude, lazy, or a bit dense. Don't be offended.
1. If you like a girl, ask her to do something on a specifc day, at a specific time, at least 3 days in advance.
2. If you want her to accept the invitation, insist on picking her up and ask for her food and drink preferences.
3. If you are having a good time at the restaurant, bar or movie, don't say any of the following things:
a) I live with my parents.
b) I have a child (or children).
c) I hardly ever bathe.
4. Don't under any circumstances comment on her personal grooming or choice of attire, unless it is a gushing compliment.
5. Pay. I'm sorry, this is sexist and outdated, but it is true. Don't ask to go dutch, don't offer to get the bill if she gets the tip, don't say that you forgot your credit card. Pay.
6. When the bill comes don't say something like, "How much do I tip on 63 dollars?", to impress her about how much it is costing you. You've been tipping at restaurants for at least 10 years, you know how much tip to leave.
7. When you're leaving, pull out her chair for her and offer to get her coat.
8. If there is a puddle on the walk to the car or metro, take off your jacket and place it in the middle of the puddle. Yes, that is the only acceptable response.
9. Walk her to her door, and don't even think about getting a kiss on the first date. You have to follow steps 1-9 successfully at least three times before you'll get laid.
10. Call the next day. Don't wait three days, don't wait seven days, don't wait for her to call you. Call her.
11. No, a text message does not count as a call. You must dial the 10 digits, listen to the ringing, and leave a message when she totally blows you off. Don't worry, she is probably holding the phone in her hand.
12. Women have better things to do than sit around and think about if guys are into them or not, don't play hard to get in the hopes that she'll find you more attractive the longer she has to wait, chances are she has moved on.
13. Brush your teeth. This one seems simple, but you'd be surprised.
VA
1. If you like a girl, ask her to do something on a specifc day, at a specific time, at least 3 days in advance.
2. If you want her to accept the invitation, insist on picking her up and ask for her food and drink preferences.
3. If you are having a good time at the restaurant, bar or movie, don't say any of the following things:
a) I live with my parents.
b) I have a child (or children).
c) I hardly ever bathe.
4. Don't under any circumstances comment on her personal grooming or choice of attire, unless it is a gushing compliment.
5. Pay. I'm sorry, this is sexist and outdated, but it is true. Don't ask to go dutch, don't offer to get the bill if she gets the tip, don't say that you forgot your credit card. Pay.
6. When the bill comes don't say something like, "How much do I tip on 63 dollars?", to impress her about how much it is costing you. You've been tipping at restaurants for at least 10 years, you know how much tip to leave.
7. When you're leaving, pull out her chair for her and offer to get her coat.
8. If there is a puddle on the walk to the car or metro, take off your jacket and place it in the middle of the puddle. Yes, that is the only acceptable response.
9. Walk her to her door, and don't even think about getting a kiss on the first date. You have to follow steps 1-9 successfully at least three times before you'll get laid.
10. Call the next day. Don't wait three days, don't wait seven days, don't wait for her to call you. Call her.
11. No, a text message does not count as a call. You must dial the 10 digits, listen to the ringing, and leave a message when she totally blows you off. Don't worry, she is probably holding the phone in her hand.
12. Women have better things to do than sit around and think about if guys are into them or not, don't play hard to get in the hopes that she'll find you more attractive the longer she has to wait, chances are she has moved on.
13. Brush your teeth. This one seems simple, but you'd be surprised.
VA
ps: I bet Robert Pattinson knows these rules!
No comments:
Post a Comment