Bartender's Delight

While JR tends bar regularly in Portland, I too, am known to serve a few drinks on occasion. My current gig which has me working once a week at an art gallery is pretty much the exact opposite of JR's colorful dive. Let me explain. I arrive at 6:30 pm and leave no later than 10 pm. I serve only two drinks: Charles Shaw Chardonnay and Tecate (beer from Mexico not known for it's flavor). For homeless people and alcoholics I am required to fill the plastic cups half full, and for everyone else 3/4 of the way. I am not required to card unless the person is wearing a diaper. Drinks are free. Yes, free. Therefore, tips are required. And, on the rare occasion that someone does not have a dollar (one dollar is the minimum tip), they either leave a five, or apologize profusely and come back later in the evening with a borrowed dollar. Each time someone orders a drink, a new tip is left.  For the most part, "customers" (can they be called that if they don't buy any art and since the drinks are free?) have their choice of  Tecate or Chardonnay, but every night at 9pm I run out of Chardonnay. The unfortunate late night (9 pm is late for me) arrivals will usually approach with a hopeful look, "Any wine left?" and when I tell them, no, they ask for a glass of water and then tip for that (!) I can wear anything I want as long as it's dressy enough. If there aren't a lot of art buyers for some reason (weather, bad art etc), the owner tips me (albeit sometimes in art). I can drink on the job as much as I like. Usually one or two rich drunk art connoisseurs ask me politely for my phone number. I used to tell them I was married, but  I guess now I'll have to give out my number and then start screening my phone calls. I've always wanted to screen phone calls, but I've never gotten enough for that to be necessary. This may be the start of something big.

VA