The Spitting Man

Last night I went to get a drink with a friend at a bar called The Association. The friend did not answer his phone when I called, so I was forced to buy my own drink, and wait at the bar alone. Already a bit peaved, I then found out that they had no Tanqueray. Well, I guess a Crown and Ginger then. With a lime. Three advertising executives who were clearly married with children approached me for a chat. Not one to shut people down, I kindly spoke to them while I waited. When I asked them the name of the bar that we were at, one replied, "I think its called Associated". After a while, the guy who seemed the most animated told me about how much he loves his kids, but how much his marriage sucks. He told me that he and his wife basically just avoid each other. I concurred that this was my problem as well, and that I was currently going through a divorce. He congratulated me on not having kids to weigh me down, but then was quick to state how much he loved his kids. The entire time he was spitting in my face; it may have been because he was drunk. When my friend finally showed up, he walked right past me and didn't recognize me. After a few minutes, he found me, and went immediately to buy himself a drink. Needless to say, I spoke with him for about 15 minutes before telling him I had to go home. Later I texted him to explain my bizarre behavior: You offer to take me out for drinks, you don't answer your phone while I call you five times after showing up at the arranged time and place, You show up 30 minutes late, you barely recognize me, you fail to offer to refresh my drink, you make ridiculous conversation about dog shit (literally), and then you expect me to come up to your apartment and sleep with you? Buddy, even if I didn't have a man spitting in my face while I drank an 11 dollar drink waiting for your pathetic ass, I still would never have slept with you. And that, was my first date since the split. I should have just gone to Karaoke. To make matters worse, when I returned home after that waste of an outing, my husband wanted to patch things up and cuddle. Why are men so stupid? And why are women so easy to win back? I must admit I did things that I will surely regret this morning.

VA